The ability to be an active listener is vital for children and parents. Your ability to actively listen to your child greatly impacts the relationship you two have. Without active listening skills, you will not be able to fully understand what is going on in your child’s life.
What is Active Listening?
Active listening happens when you give your full attention to the speaker. You are actively trying to understand the whole message being said. An active listener engages in many verbal and nonverbal habits of listening. For example an active listener will give positive reinforcement, occasionally restate an important point, acknowledge the speaker’s point of view, and will ask questions to fully understand what is being said. Appropriate facial expressions, direct eye contact and avoiding distractions are the nonverbal indicators of an active listener.
Active listeners are known to have better communication and problem solving skills. As an active listener you show the other person commitment and understanding. Being able to connect to people in this way is a vital part of being a great role model. Active listeners have fewer misunderstandings and can connect with many people on a lot of different issues.
How to Be an Active Listener
As a parent, you are able to connect with your child in a way that no one else can. When your child is talking to you, practicing these 5 steps will make sure you hearing what he is saying as well as demonstrate to him that active listening is important.
- Maintain eye contact: Do not get distracted by being on your phone or computer. Let your child know that he has your full attention.
- Don’t Interrupt: Everyone wants to feel heard. Let your child complete his thought before you respond. Avoid finishing sentences or rushing him. Do not assume you know where his thoughts are going. Let him tell you
- Ask Questions: Asking specific question ensures clarity and understanding. There are four types of questions
- Open-ended: How do you feel about school today?
- Close-ended: Did you finish your homework?
- Leading: Are you upset about your math test?
- Reflective: You said you are really excited about soccer practice tomorrow, tell me more about that
- Restate What Your Child Is Saying: When you rephrase statements in your own words you are able to better understand what your child is saying to you. Summarize the main points and repeat them back. This way, your child can correct you if you are not getting what he is trying to tell you.
- Listen for the Whole Message: Passive listeners only hear the words being said. Active listeners can hear the feeling and attitude driving the words. It is important to hear both as sometimes the emotion behind the message is what needs to be discussed.
As you are practicing these steps, encourage your child to practice them as well when they are listening to their sibling, friend, parent or teacher. It is equally as important for your child to learn active listening skills as well. When they see and hear you be an active listener and see the results of that, they will want to be active listeners themselves.
Sourced through:
https://www.oxfordlearning.com/improve-active-listening-skills/
