As a parent the way you talk and interact with your children can have a major affect, both good and bad. It can affect their ability to learn and how they listen to us. There are three different ways that parents tend to communicate with their children: aggressive, passive, and assertive. Aggressive parents are those who yell often, speak to their children as if they are not good enough, and use offensive words. Passive parents speak softly, saying cautious words to their children avoiding discouragements. These parents struggle with their children misbehaving and taking control of situations. Lastly, assertive parents speak firmly with clear words that are positive and stand strong. It is a difficult way to be as a parent but it shows children that the parents know what they are talking about and to listen. As told by As We Grow Counseling in an article discussing how to get your children to listen, they give 20 examples of how to talk to your child.
- Always say your child’s name. Saying a child’s name is important and grasps their full attention.
- Keep from saying words such as do and don’t, keep positive, it will grow confidence, and helps behavior
- Get to child’s eye level, shows good manners helping to connect with them.
- Be cautious of volume; be sure to wait until child has calmed down if using tone at appropriate times allows greater understanding when a raised voice is necessary.
- Develop words such as which and when makes children feel they have a choice even when there is no room for negotiation.
- Delegate one task at a time, handing too many tasks to a young child at once will confuse them.
- Write tasks down; set a time to have them finished instead of pestering them continually.
- Present good manners in order to get them in return. Say please and thank you to your children just like you would to others.
- Make a decision and stick to it, show you are gentle but firm in your actions and words.
- To become engaged with children ask open-ended question, this shows interest in the child’s life.
- Make sure your child understands what you are saying if they do not simplify what you are saying.
- Use “I” messages to make sure your child knows how their behavior affects others.
- When somewhere give child several minutes of warning time before departure, allows them to prepare and makes leaving easier.
- Always give children your full attention, if not able to talk promise a time you can devote to speaking only to them.
- One-on-one conversation is important talk to each of your children alone so proper vocabulary can be used.
- Firmly enforce rules but do not sweat the small things, this allows more serious rules to be enforced with better corporation from child.
- Put as much thought into your child that you would do with your friends.
- Make sure it is known that you love and accept your children the way that they are. This will develop a strong relationship between parents and children.
- Do not interrupt your child while they are talking, kids will lose interest in being able to share their feelings with you
- Make sure that talking with your children is a priority; comfortable conversation develops good quality confidence, self-esteem, and good relationships with others.
Link
https://www.aswegrowcounseling.com/20-ways-to-talk-so-your-children-will-listen
